I spend a lot of time daydreaming. Often about whimsical beasts, coitus and if there is something deeply buried in my past that is going to lead to an unavoidable closet-escaping moment in later life. I’d rather just get it out the way whilst I can still get some worthwhile action down Canal Street.
I should really see my friends and family more, but of course there are far more important things to do. Like avoid my friends and family. The cunts.
Perhaps one day I’ll daydream about being presented a flat screen TV by Jeremy Clarkson like a lot of other men I know. Perhaps Richard Hammond will be there to offer platitudes, perchance to drive me home in a new car. Maybe the thought will appeal to me one day.
After all, a mind can change – I have now accepted that there AREN’T orcs at the bottom of the garden (although the wife has to keep reminding me every time I try and justify the purchase of some crude mediaevel weaponry).
Steve Jobs and his army have finally pushed an Iphone in to my grasp – and I can’t put the fucking thing down. What hope would I have if I saw the beauty presented by an HDTV plastered against my wall? Is there such a thing as a slippery slope to technological fuckery? Gadget induced cunt-dom? Eisenhower’s domino effect twisted cruelly against an accidental capitalist as a horrid joke?
Once again, I don’t have the answers. But I take solace in the belief that modern life has given us a bit more than it has taken away.
Like the concept of the “SQUIDAGEDDON”.